The Last Laugh
by Earendilion
Summary: Postwar. At the hands of their little brother, Elladan and Elrohir learn that revenge is very, very sweet. Between K and T for thematic elements. It's pretty mild, though. Nominated for the 2007 MC Awards.
1. Prologue

**A/N** This is probably one of my favorite humors I've written. It was a blast. I hope you enjoy reading as much as I enjoyed writing. Elrond's nerves will never be the same.

_**Prologue**_

It all started, really, with an innocent prank.

Really, it was completely innocent.

Really.

The morning Estel woke up upside down, hanging from his ceiling Valar knows how, and covered in little painted-on purple flowers, he vowed revenge so sweet it would go down in history.

The twins laughed.

Glorfindel warned them. Then Erestor warned them. Even Legolas warned them.

They still laughed.

The years went by, and no incredibly out-of-the-ordinary prank took place, no prank crafty or sinister or utterly genius enough to go down in history. And even the Elven memories of Elladan and Elrohir forgot their younger brother's vow.

What they didn't know was that he had merely been biding his time, waiting for their most vulnerable moment….


	2. Chapter 1

_**Chapter One**_

Aragorn looked around at his family, more content than he had been in decades. His road was clear to him now – it stretched long and winding before him, but it no longer held the shadow it had carried since he had first glimpsed its beginning.

Elrond, Glorfindel, Erestor, and the twins were all seated around him, sipping their wine or tea, respectively, and absorbed in the peaceful silence that enveloped them. Arwen sat next to him, his arm around her shoulders, leaning comfortably against him.

All was as it should be.

Aragorn looked around the study – _his_ study, he supposed – and sighed wearily. Its vastness, its authority, its history both awed and inspired him, but also reminded him of what was still left for him to do. Ah, well. At least there were still several beautiful days of his family's presence left for him to cherish.

"I believe I shall retire for the night, Aragorn," Elrond said contentedly, standing and sighing.

"Please, Ada," Aragorn murmured. "Here I am Estel."

Elrond looked at him searchingly for a moment, then smiled, the gesture warm and grateful, expressing what needed to be expressed without words.

"Well, then, Estel," Glorfindel said, standing as well, "I believe your father is right."

It was music to Aragorn's ears – 'your father.'

"Yes, we will leave the mighty king to his mighty broodings," Elladan teased.

"And lovely lady," Aragorn added, smiling down at Arwen.

Elrohir scowled, pouting. "Just because you are our brother, Estel, does not make her any less our sister."

"I do not know, Elrohir," Arwen said softly, reaching up to caress Aragorn's cheek and drawing his attention back to her, after he had glanced at Elrohir. "Just because I am your sister does not mean that he is my brother." She kissed him sweetly on the mouth.

Both twins made exasperated noises and rolled their eyes, but the elder three smiled, knowing looks in their eyes.

"All right, then," Elladan sniffed, pretending to be haughtily and disdainfully offended, "we will excuse ourselves, Your Majesty, and will try not to lose ourselves in your majestic halls of majesty."

Glorfindel raised his eyebrows. "'Majestic halls of majesty,' Dan? Honestly," he shook his head disappointedly, "I expected better."

"Goodnight, Estel, Arwen," Erestor said, in a long-suffering sort of voice. "Sleep well."

"Goodnight, Erestor," they said back, smiling. Good old Erestor, always the cool-headed one.

Aragorn and Arwen were soon alone in the room, after bidding the others goodnight as well. A few tender moments were spent in silence on the couch, emotions left bare to hang unvoiced but understood in the air, before they decided they should go to bed as well.

They stood in mutual agreement, but Aragorn did not remove his arm from her waist. Instead, he leaned his forehead on hers and whispered, "Do you know how much I love you?"

"Not as much as I love you," she replied, her hand searching for his, and clutching it when she found it.

He kissed her warmly, wishing they did not have to part.

"Promise me you will not be up late," she said when they had broken apart, moving towards the door.

"Not tonight, my love," he said, opening it courteously for her. "There are still a few things I must… attend to."

But she had caught the glimmer in his eyes. "What things?" she asked warily.

"Oh, nothing important," he said hurriedly, trying and failing to throw her off the scent. "Just a few… a few old scores to settle, that is all."

"Mmmhmm. And may I ask with whom they are being settled?"

"No one of consequence."

"I will tell them you said that."

"Compared to what I am going to do to them tonight, it will matter relatively little." He grinned mischievously at her. She always knew what he was going to do, even before he did it. It was almost as though she could read his mind. Sometimes it worried him.

"Well, let me know how it all turns out," she said, admitting defeat grudgingly and kissing him lightly.

"You will be able to see for yourself, if all goes aright," he countered happily.

"Which, knowing my brothers, it will not."

"We shall see."

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

He closed the door behind her, his spirits dropping slightly to know that he would have to wait until the morning to see her again. They picked up immediately, however (though not in the same fashion as Arwen's return would have), when he remembered what he was supposed to be doing.

First thing was first. He needed an accomplice.


	3. Chapter 2

_**Chapter Two**_

Aragorn knocked surreptitiously, looking around and hoping no one was about to enter the hallway and see their king in the black garb of bandits and bare feet.

"Hurry up, Legolas," he hissed to himself.

The door suddenly opened, revealing a bleary-eyed and tousle-haired Prince of Mirkwood.

"Estel?" he mumbled, peering at Aragorn. "What are you doing? Is everything alright?"

"Shh, mellon nin, everything is fine," he assured. "Let me in."

Legolas stepped aside to allow him to enter, then shut the door behind him. "What is going on?" he asked, looking bewildered.

"I need your help with something."

"What sort of something?" Legolas muttered, eyeing his friend's odd clothes.

Aragorn took a deep breath. "Years and years ago, I swore that one day, I would get revenge on my brothers for all the pranks they played on me, do you remember?"

Legolas nodded, looking less bewildered and more interested by the second. "Yes, but you cannot be thinking of doing anything _now_, here! It is certainly not the time or the place…"

"That is exactly what Dan and Ro will be thinking, will they not?" Aragorn said excitedly, grinning rather nastily. "Which is exactly why here and now _is_ the time and the place."

The Elf gave him a hard look. "And you want my help."

"If you will give it. You have ever been my partner in crime. Let us go out with a bang, as Glorfindel says, for I feel this will be our last adventure of this sort."

Legolas' face broke into a wide, heartfelt smile. "Of course, mellon nin."

"Excellent," Aragorn said, rubbing his hands together and looking around. "There are just a few things we will need. And you will need to change."

"So," Legolas said from behind his dressing curtain as Aragorn waited outside, "am I the only one who will be aiding your escapade tonight?"

"Well, yes," Aragorn replied, feeling slightly guilty. "The others are dear to me, but…"

"They do not know you as I do," Legolas clarified, sticking his head around the curtain. "They do not know Estel."

"No," he said sheepishly. "They would be rather shocked, I believe."

"Well, I think at least Merry and Pippin would be pleased to know there is humor in you," Legolas said, stepping around the curtain and smoothing his black tunic. "And I have told Gimli the stories, though he told me he wouldn't believe half of them."

"Which ones did you tell him?" Aragorn asked warily.

"Oh, the classics," Legolas said nonchalantly. "A few about the twins, one or two about Glorfindel, the time you stole all of Erestor's quills…"

"Ah, yes, I remember that," Aragorn said dreamily. "A novice prank, but brilliant all the same. Erestor thought Glorfindel had taken them all. He was furious."

"And about the time you washed your father's red tunics with his white ones," Legolas said, beaming. "_That_, my friend, was the most brilliant of them all."

"It was an accident!" Aragorn protested. "How was I supposed to know that red dye _runs_?"

"All the same," Legolas grinned, "seeing Elrond in a pink tunic was priceless."

"The look on his face was even better, though it was usually directed at me," Aragorn mused. "Anyway, back to the present. Now, I brought a list of things we will need…"


	4. Chapter 3

_**Chapter Three**_

"This is the last one," Legolas panted, sliding a large and heavy mirror under Aragorn's bed.

"Good," the Dúnadan said. "Now we may proceed."

The pair padded silently down the hallways until they reached a solid oak door. Legolas touched the handle with light, elven fingers and pushed it open. They slipped quickly into the room, shutting the door as silently as they had opened it behind them.

Aragorn glanced at the two doors on either side of the small sitting room, listening for movement. Legolas was thinking along the same lines, because he said, "Estel, if they awake, we will probably be dead before we have a chance to explain ourselves."

"That is true," Aragorn said, sounding amused. "But their wine was… special, tonight. A stampeding mumak would not wake them."

Legolas grinned. "Shall we humiliate dear Elladan or dear Elrohir first?"

"Dear Elladan, I believe," Aragorn said, leading the way to the door on the left. "He gloated and teased much more and much longer than Elrohir, which is saying something. He deserves it more."

"Which is also saying something."

"Yes."

Creeping silently to the assigned door, Aragorn pressed his ear against it. No sound came from within. Grinning and signaling to Legolas, he pushed open the door and slipped to his elder brother's bedside. Elladan was stretched out luxuriously in the bed, lost in his dreams, blissfully ignorant of the horrors about to be inflicted upon him.

Legolas slung the small sack he was carrying from his shoulder and set it on the desk. Aragorn silently held out his hand, and the Elf fished inside the sack for a moment, before filling the proffered hand.

Aragorn stared at the object Legolas had given him for a moment, marveling at his own genius, before chuckling silently and setting to work.

It did not take long for the two nighttime prowlers to finish with Elladan and move on to Elrohir. Neither twins so much as sniffed in their sleep, and both were still smiling innocently when Aragorn and Legolas crept out of their adjoined rooms and back to their own quarters, immensely satisfied with themselves.

"You are sure there is a private family breakfast tomorrow?" Legolas ensured warily before he closed his doors.

"Yes, I am sure," Aragorn said confidently. "I _personally_ made sure. This is an innocent prank on our part, and will be humorous enough with the family, but I would not want to publicly embarrass them."

"Strange," Legolas mused. "That has never seemed to bother you before."

Aragorn laughed quietly. "Yes, well, I _am_ king now, so I must have some sort of self control, mustn't I?"

Legolas rolled his eyes. "I wonder what the servants will think when they find several of their corridors completely devoid of mirrors."

"What else could we have done?" Aragorn asked. "We couldn't have Dan and Ro glimpsing themselves in the mirrors on their way to breakfast. That would spoil everything. Oh, and do not forget. You must escort Elladan downstairs, and I will escort Elrohir downstairs. They cannot see each other, either."

"Estel," the Elf sighed exasperatedly, "you are one of the most ungrateful, cruel, and _ingenious_ younger brothers ever to exist. The twins must have truly offended Ilúvatar to have gained you as a sibling."

"Ada says teasing is loving," Aragorn crowed happily. "I am simply showing them my affection in a rather more interesting manner."

Legolas snorted, but bid his friend goodnight with a grin and closed the door. Aragorn returned to his chambers with a slight spring in his step, almost writhing with anticipation for the next morning, and wondering vaguely whether he would live to see the next afternoon.


	5. Chapter 4

_**Chapter Four**_

Elrond seated himself at the head of the small breakfast table as Aragorn had asked him to, Erestor and Glorfindel doing likewise on either side of him. He was looking forward to this meal. It had been Aragorn's idea to have one last private family meal, rather than dining with the courts in all formality. That was why he had asked Elrond, Glorfindel, and Erestor to take the high seats. He said he forgot his royalty when around them, and they should, as well.

Elrond smiled inwardly at the empty seat between Glorfindel and Arwen, who had just entered. It would soon be filled by, not the King of Gondor and Arnor, but Estel, who had always been seated next to himself, Glorfindel, or Erestor, to keep him out of trouble.

These were his last pleasant thoughts for the day, however, as Elladan and Legolas entered at that precise moment.

Legolas slipped around the table calmly, taking his seat two away from Erestor and keeping his eyes down turned.

Elrond, Erestor, and Glorfindel stared, dumbstruck, at Elladan, who looked utterly confused by their expressions. It took a moment for the reality of what they were seeing to shock them out of their initial reaction, but then Elrohir walked in with Aragorn, and they returned to their speechless astonishment.

Aragorn, like Legolas, slid quietly into his seat beside Arwen and kissed her discreetly on the cheek. She did not seem to notice. No one at the table noticed. They were all still staring at the twins, who were staring, dumbstruck, back.

Elrond found his voice first.

"BY THE CURSE OF FEANOR," he roared, pounding a fist on the table, "WHAT IN ARDA AND ALL THINGS CREATED BY ILUVATAR _HAVE YOU DONE?!_"

The rest of the table turned to stare at him for a brief moment. He reserved such ejaculations for very, very, _very_ serious situations. Such as this.

Elladan and Elrohir, in all their blind innocence, stood before the rest of their family, sticky, red, lip-shaped marks spread over their faces, necks, and ears.

"Ada?" Elrohir said in a small voice, quailing as his father stood and raised himself to his full and considerable height.

"Would you care to explain yourselves?" Elrond hissed menacingly, looking ready to kill his sons in a very painful manner.

"Care to explain… what, adar?" Elladan whispered, taking a step back from where the irate Elf-lord loomed.

Elrond snarled and, seizing both of his sons' shirts, whirled them towards the table, forcing them to bend and look at their reflections in a silver platter. There was a few brief seconds of shocked silence before the twins began their frantic protests.

"Adar, we didn't!"

"I swear! I would _never_ have done-"

"-think we would do that-"

"I _swear_!"

Across the table, Aragorn saw Legolas hide his face in one hand and break into a discreet coughing fit. He himself fingered the hem of his tunic, forcing himself not to smile. He could not help looking up, however, when he felt Arwen's furious gaze boring into the side of his head.

_Please?_ he begged with his eyes. She made a low hissing noise only he could hear.

"Wait!" he mouthed pleadingly.

She rolled her eyes and put her head in her hands.

Elrond's shouts were now drowning out his sons'.

"After thousands of years you cannot manage to _control yourselves_… sons and representatives of a renowned and ancient house… in your brother's _kingdom_… what have you done for his reign? For _your_ imminent reigns?!"

Erestor was pale and motionless. Glorfindel was watching the twins with wide eyes and a slightly open mouth. Legolas was still coughing. Arwen's hand found Aragorn's under the table, and she squeezed it so hard he winced.

"…greatest of transgressions… _when _did this become a problem… what of your morals? Your honor…"

The looks on his elder brothers' faces were priceless. Aragorn watched their mouths move helplessly as their spines slowly crumpled beneath them, trying to escape the wrath of the apoplectic Elf before them. Their faces had taken on a deathly pallor, and he could almost see them wondering whether they had become intoxicated and not remember, and then argue that they had been intoxicated before and nothing of this nature had happened, and so on. And then there was the blind, panicked denial flashing in their horrified eyes. Elrond was still yelling…

Whether it was one or all of these things that caused both him and Legolas to burst into hysterical laughter, Aragorn never knew. All he did know was that he was suddenly doubled over his place setting and laughing so hard he was crying. He could hear Legolas doing the same in front of him.

Elrond whirled on them, stunned for a moment by their obvious inability to grasp the gravity of the situation, then turned the full extent of his fury on them.

"WHAT IS SO FUNNY?!" he roared. "Your brothers, my _heirs_, have just…"

"Ada…" Aragorn gasped, nearly falling out of his seat. Legolas already had and sounded as though he was choking on the floor.

"Don't you 'ada' me, young man!"

"Ada, do not… look at the…" He collapsed again, howling, his sides burning.

Elrond, suddenly seeming to catch on, spun on the spot and seized a fistful of Elladan's hair, dragging him close enough for his father to touch one of red marks with his finger. And remove the finger. And inspect what was covering the finger. And find that it was merely diluted strawberry jam.

"_**ESTEL!!!**_"

Dust was shaken loose from the rafters of the private breakfasting room. A flock of birds took flight in panic from a tree outside the window. All the servants within a half mile radius paused to wonder what the explosion was.

"I AM GOING TO _KILL_ HIM!"

Elladan leapt out of his father's grasp and onto his little brother, knocking him out of his seat and onto the floor, and began to beat him senseless. Aragorn was still laughing. Elrohir crumpled where he stood, looking as though he might burst into tears. Elrond was wearing a frown that would have curdled milk and was slowly rubbing his throbbing temple with his fore and middle fingers, his eyes closed. Arwen was slowly beating her head on the table. Erestor had slumped in his seat and was staring at the ceiling. Glorfindel was massaging his forehead and muttering inaudibly to himself. Legolas had managed to crawl, breathless, around the table, only to collapse again on top of Elladan, who immediately picked himself up again and resumed pummeling Aragorn.

The servants who had heard the "explosion" were now gathered at the door, arguing who should open it and see if the King and his guests were alright. When they finally did muster the courage to peek inside, what they saw shocked them to no end and would be circling around the Citadel for years. Their King was being attacked by one of their honored guests. The Prince of Mirkwood lay next to them, apparently suffocating. The Lady Arwen was resting her head on her folded arms. The advisors to the Lord of Imladris looked as though they had just found out that the War had never really happened and it had all been an elaborate hoax. The servants scuttled away from the door when the Lord himself stormed outside with a growled, "Excuse me," and stayed well out of his way for the rest of the day for fear of being struck by lightning.

It was Glorfindel who finally found the sense and energy to drag Elladan off of a purple-faced Aragorn and attempt to drown the younger Elf in the pitcher of milk, even though Elladan's head would not fit. Erestor followed his lead and slapped some sense into Elrohir, telling him to go back to his chambers and fix himself. Roused to awareness, Elrohir took Legolas with him, dragging the Prince of Mirkwood by the ear. They would leave Arwen to deal with Aragorn, and deal with him she would, judging by the look on her face, which was quite reminiscent of her father in his wrath.

Aragorn finally seemed to realize that she was standing over him, arms crossed, foot tapping, and glowering furiously, and his suffocated laughs lapsed into hesitant hiccups.

"Hello, Arwen, dear," he said in an attempt to save himself.

The servants went scurrying at the second explosion that followed.

And so the fraternal feud between the sons of Elrond came to a glorious, momentous, and fairly historical end. That is, until, Prince Eldarion was born….


	6. Epilogue

_**Epilogue**_

"Ada?"

"Yes, Eldarion?"

"Do you, by any chance, have a very long length of rope and some glue?"

"Why?"

"Uncle Elladan and Uncle Elrohir are coming to visit."

"Bottom drawer on the left."

"Thank you."

"And if your mother asks, I did not tell you."

"And I did not ask you."

"I am glad I have passed on my good sense of self-preservation to you, ion. For both our sakes."

_**Fin**_


End file.
